Anchor

My sister is finally leaving the country in a few days. I always expected this to happen at some point eventually, but I guess I never really thought I'd be needing her this much at this point.

She's like my anchor, the one person I got to when I need to remember who I am, the one person that understands me most times and judges the least. My supposed system through a few heartbreaks which she may or may not even know about. I dont feel entirely lonely because I know she's always there if I need to call.

Now, she's going to be on a different continent, a different time zone, and now I know I'm definitely going to be alone. Now I know I need to either accept the isolation or find a new anchor. Without one, I dont think I'd be very sane. 

One problem though, I'm scared of this love thing.

I Cried Today

I cried today for the first time in years. "Nights" by Frank Ocean was playing and I started thinking about how alone I really am in this huge world. 

Now, don't get me wrong, these thoughts are nothing new to me but they hit 100x harder this time. Why? cos I was not thinking about just me this time. What if there are others like me? 

Loneliness that emanates from the fact that you are constantly being misunderstood so you'd rather stay away to avoid further complications. Loneliness that comes from the fact that you genuinely feel out of place in a place you're supposed to call home. Loneliness that transcends beyond isolation and depression into a reluctance for expression.

Now some food for thought.