TRIPPY'S PSYCHOEMOTIONAL JOURNAL

 There, now you know the name of my new blog. 

Honestly, right now, I have zero viewers but I am not doing this for the views so I am not so bothered. Although, I just opened an "adsense" account so now I need an audience because I need to get my bags up.

So now, I am back with the challenge of finding something that will attract these 4kin yutes to my blog. Do I write about cars? or do I write about sports, football maybe? I could write about music or better still, why don't I write about everything?

Anyway, my new blog, TPJ, is going to feature excerpts from my "chaotic mind" - something I feel like I say a lot without any evidence. So, this blog is going to make up one great big evidence as well as serve as a virtual record keeper for all my mental theatrics. 

Here, the first piece on TPJ:

 

Another Chapter

 At the start of the year, I promised myself I would write a piece every day. Fast forward to 10 months later and I only have 35 pieces on which I have decided to base my new blog.

I think I will call it Trippy's Psychoemotional Space (TPS) or Trippy the Psychoemotional Wanderer (TTPW). 

This blog will be my virtual diary, my virtual journal for every piece I can muster from this moment.

Here's a link: atrippyjournal.blogspot.com

Anchor

My sister is finally leaving the country in a few days. I always expected this to happen at some point eventually, but I guess I never really thought I'd be needing her this much at this point.

She's like my anchor, the one person I got to when I need to remember who I am, the one person that understands me most times and judges the least. My supposed system through a few heartbreaks which she may or may not even know about. I dont feel entirely lonely because I know she's always there if I need to call.

Now, she's going to be on a different continent, a different time zone, and now I know I'm definitely going to be alone. Now I know I need to either accept the isolation or find a new anchor. Without one, I dont think I'd be very sane. 

One problem though, I'm scared of this love thing.

I Cried Today

I cried today for the first time in years. "Nights" by Frank Ocean was playing and I started thinking about how alone I really am in this huge world. 

Now, don't get me wrong, these thoughts are nothing new to me but they hit 100x harder this time. Why? cos I was not thinking about just me this time. What if there are others like me? 

Loneliness that emanates from the fact that you are constantly being misunderstood so you'd rather stay away to avoid further complications. Loneliness that comes from the fact that you genuinely feel out of place in a place you're supposed to call home. Loneliness that transcends beyond isolation and depression into a reluctance for expression.

Now some food for thought.

MMC

Oh glorious May, still easily one of the craziest months of the lot. Now, first off let's say every month is peculiar to one or a few historical significances. For May, drawing from the birthstone (the Emerald) to which it is attributable, we have the month of love and success. Knowing this alone, you'd think "ohh so it's gonna be a lovely month? nice."

Well, May is from the Latin Maius which some believed to be coined from Maia, the goddess of growth in nature and business. Now, that seems even more encouraging. You should also know that in ancient Rome, there was a festival between 27th April and 3rd May during which a sacrifice (too crude to be disclosed) was offered to Terra, the goddess of harvest. Now we're getting somewhere.

Okay, so with everything stated above, I guess May is looking like a very harmless and peaceful month. Well, guess again cos it gets pretty complicated now and my zodiac people would love this part. 

May has 31 days, it was originally the 3rd month of the year till around 158 BC when the calendar was changed and January became generally accepted as the first month of the year, hence May coming fifth. So back to the days of May, you see, now May is home to probably the two most contradicting zodiac signs in Taurus and Gemini.

The first half of May to the 19th is dominated by the Taurus stars and perhaps the reason why it seems rather turbulent and somewhat rollercoaster during the earlier weeks. Going into the last two weeks now and everything seems to be calm and easy-going, accurately depicting the energy a Gemini would bring to any room.

Coming the end of my may analysis, as I previously suggested in my last post, I will be sharing some music based on the theme of this post - MMC meaning May Must Cry - an apple playlist curated by me that goes by the same title.

Based on how I feel about May

Oh glorious May, the Month when I almost died. The month when I fell in love and lost my love.

Cause and Effect

Remember when we were watching south park, cracking up, laughing and vibing? We were also absorbing and imbibing unconsciously.

We didn't expect it to cause this much damage, okay maybe some damage but not this much. As much as everyone thought it was just a big cruise though, we all knew that deep down, that show was breaking alot of mental "limitations". Of course family guy, boondocks, Simpsons, the archer, and the likes put up good contests but South Park was really the one for me.

In my opinion, the creators of S.P took the mockery too far. By doing so, they opened the doors, they flooded the gates.

Well, I guess that's on angle. It's definitely one way to see things, just one single way. Could easily be one of the easiest ways to just process that scenario which sadly is a real life one. See this tweet I saw just now. 

The replies from yours truly ofc. Just gotta drop in my views yunno, for special effects and some chaos. Gotta give you something to think about since you barely remember to think critically. 

Always consider that there are other valid views and no on can be completely right. Just mostly right, based on the current state of things at that time.

Underlined it like one church pamphlet. Inspired by Jehovah's witness and them BSN people 

Omo I just found a Bible passage so Imma ex now. 

Read and be blessed. Cos that's how I'm feeling.

Introspect

 

Some shit happens. I do very dumb shit when I'm under the influence... Of emotions e.g. Anger, happiness, fear, love. These emotions that come because well, we're human. These emotions are what differentiate us mere mortals, from the gods, the Immortals who otherwise, are just like us.

Lately, I've realized how much better my decision making is when I'm unhappy or in some pain. Two emotions that would prolly be rather uncomfortable for the average human being. The adrenaline buzz, the reduced levels of serotonin circulation fused with some dopamine absence. This basically gets me up to my best both mentally and physically.

This being the main reason behind this post. I have come to the sad truth and realization that I prolly need to accept the burden, probably abnormal but it is what it is. I'm looking for some peace of mind or whatever Rema said bro.

Anyway, as crazy as it sounds, I'm grateful for self realisation and acceptance which are the drivers of this post and the ones that would follow in coming times. This blog has been idle for too long but not anymore. 

Welcome to the masterpiece that is my chaotic mind.